Ever since I was a little girl, I believed that I was a great manifester. Those around me, myself included, called it “luck.” As I grew older and dived into self development and blogs of the likes of Vienda Maria, Rebecca Campbell and Gabriele Bernstein, I knew there was so much more than ‘luck’ involved.
It was about being aligned with what I wanted. Being aligned with what’s meant for me. What started out as manifesting the win of a beanie baby at discovery zone ( a kid’s game centre in Columbus, Ohio), turned into manifesting new adventures, moving countries and a holding a festival in Sydney.
When I was eight, manifesting something like a stuffed animal was quite easy, even though I had to hit multiple jack pots at the games (something that the staff said they couldn’t believe I did). To me it seemed like an exciting task: I saw something, I knew it was possible without question, and I went for it. The older I got, and the bigger the potential risks of ‘going for it’ became, the more fear came in. I had thoughts like, “What if it doesn’t work out?” “Am I making the right choice?” and “Is this even possible?”
I’ve learned that having an awareness of your patterns can help you greatly as you move throughout your path. My pattern tends to be that I am very intuitive, and sometimes I mistake fear with my intuition telling me not to do something. The first time I consciously experienced this was when I landed in Sydney in 2010. I was with my family, getting ready to go to Study Abroad orientation in Cairns and I froze. Not just froze, I hid; in our hotel room. I was riddled with fear that was unshakeable.
As I was about to step into the unknown, I realised that not only was the experience of Studying Abroad in Australia unknown, my life and future felt unknown. Would I go back to University in California after? What does my new present and future look like? It paralysed me to the point that I felt knots in my stomach. Usually this is where I feel my intuition, and so every part of me said this was a red flag and that I seriously should not study abroad. It didn’t feel right. I didn’t feel that I was prepared. After sitting with it for a few days and talking endlessly with the people I trust, I realised that the feeling wasn’t an alarm going off like I thought it was (my intuition telling me to run home) it was an alarm saying, “you’re afraid.”
I decided to let the fear go, and jumped into the unknown, even though it wasn’t easy, I’m so glad that I did. About an hour into orientation, I met one of my best friends and began an adventure that was one of the best things I could’ve ever done and has shaped where I am today. Literally, where I am today. 7 years later, and I live in Sydney.
When manifesting, fears and beliefs come up. Thoughts or subconscious beliefs that we didn’t even realise. By becoming aware of these fears, you can move forward towards what you want. I’ve often noticed that ours fears around something that we want are fears of it working out.
As Marianne Williamson puts it, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.”
I can’t think of anything more true.
When I started to create #RadLivin (The festival I hold in Sydney) I knew there was fear around something I wanted to manifest when the thing that I wanted wasn’t showing up. Whether it was a speaker or bringing on a brand to sponsor the event, for each thing that I wanted to manifest, I looked as to whether there were any fears around accepting each into my space and into the event.
I first learned how to do this through the Manifest More E-Course by Vienda Maria. If you’re wanting to create something or manifest something, I highly recommend it.
After bringing to light the fears that I had, I was able to acknowledge each one and move past it. I ended up manifesting everything that was needed for the event and more. As I continue to say yes to the unknown, I remind myself to feel the fear and move forward.
What are you wanting to say yes to? Are you making a change, saying yes to something you’d love to do? Share it with us in the comments below. X
Hat: Will & Bear
Romper: Urban Outfitters
