I’m reading the book ‘What Do I Really Want?’ by Lloyd Lalande. It reminded me of a time when I was in the first grade and had just learned how to do that exercise where you lay on your back and do an air-bicycle. I felt so free.
We came back from PE, sat down to listen to a story and because I hadn’t learned how to contain that feeling of being free, I went on my back and did the air-bicycle. I was asked to go sit down at my desk away from the group. I had never been in trouble before, especially not by a teacher, and I felt my insides crumbling.
I’m not a bad kid? I thought. Why would she have me sit down?
I wasn’t harming anyone, wasn’t looking for attention, I just loved trying the new activity that made me feel free, fun and alive.
My relationship with my first grade teacher never felt the same on my end, I didn’t feel that she saw me for who I was or who I was being.
It’s interesting, especially being in the blogging world, the concept of being seen. Why being seen in all of your truth, freedom or aliveness is often something to fear, rather something to embrace and celebrate. Even posting this, I don’t know how many posts I’ve done, but there is always that little gut-bubble that says, am I ready to post this, and in turn, am I ready to be seen?
Maybe if we recognized that parts of our past taught us to shut out our natural pull to either express who we are, what we desire or how we’re feeling in the moment, we could learn to accept ourselves and move forward the way we always intended to.
When were you told to tone-down your truth, or your pure aliveness?
When did you feel that expressing who you are was shot down?
How would life look and feel if you were to own your freedom? To own the part of you that just comes easily, effortlessly, without shutting it down before it even has the chance to get out.
How can you do this? Self-compassion.
Self-compassion has been one of my favourite topics as of late. I remember when I was interested in learning about self-love there was something that just wasn’t clicking. I felt like I loved myself for who I am, but there was something that still felt missing. It was self-compassion.
By having compassion for the mere sense that you are human, and that everyone around you is human, you can allow yourself to show your true-self to those around you. Everyone makes mistakes, no one is perfect, everyone has desires and truth; that’s the beauty of it.
When you start seeing yourself as being a part of a larger community, you can let yourself off the hook a bit more and let out your truth.
If the concept of self-compassion interests you, I recommend the book Self-Compassion by Dr. Kristin Neff. Incredible, easy-to-read and filled with so many simple techniques that will change the way you speak and act towards yourself, and in turn, allow you to live out more of your truth.
