Going for your dreams can be an incredible, exhilarating, sometimes scary, task. Community member Parker Bradley sat down to share with us his journey and give you 10 applicable tips on how you can take action and go for your dreams now.
Going for it: By Parker Bradley:
Hi there, folks. Just another dreamer here: currently immersed in the process of realizing and pursuing a dream, with passion at the wheel, and fear trailing not too far behind. I am not another success story—yet. I am in the initial stages of realizing a dream, combing through the demands of life, searching for the time and energy to dedicate to pursuing a passion that envelops me. If you are reading this, I imagine you have a dream you wish to see through as well, and a passion that keeps you up at night, wakes you up in the morning, and manages to monopolize your thoughts as you live each day. Good for you! I’m right there with you. How wonderful it is! You have something unique to you that you would like to create and share with the world; that is an incredible feat. But as I have personally realized, it is quite the strenuous road. It’s a bit like driving down a beat up back road full of surprises: potholes, animal crossings , and plenty of, “slow down” signs. To put it simply, it’s rough; but once you gain the proper motivation and mindset, you find that you will be able to manage your way through.
I had spent months formulating and building the structure of my dream in my mind, and within the past few months, have taken those thoughts and ideas, and attempted to funnel them into existence. That is where I am now: the building process of a dream that has only previously existed in my mind. Here I am actually taking said dream and bringing it into the world to share with others. What a process it has been, and will be; one that requires consistent attention and motivation, as I teach myself how. I know I am not alone; as there are many others out there who wish to do the same. Hence, why I am writing this. I want to share with you some tips and ideas that have helped me along this arduous process. Support and inspiration from others who have been through and are currently going through a similar adventure is vital in the art of creating. We can build off of the stories, struggles, and successes of others to motivate and teach each other how to progress forward along our journey to attain our ultimate goal: to create the life we want to live.
Let me start by saying this: we are all creative, and we all have the ability to do something brilliant with our lives, and/or give something unique and wonderful to this world. Creativity and ideas are not unique to a certain breed of human; it is something that is ingrained in all of us, just waiting to be acknowledged and brought to the surface. But this takes work. Everyone has their dream—their vision of an ideal life—but it does not come easy. The process is stocked full with obstacles and demands that try to pull us from our passion and distract our inspiration. Now it is up to us, the individual, to use our time wisely and channel consistent motivation in order to stay afloat along this journey. It is easy to become discouraged, and it is easy to become lazy, but we must not let ourselves get comfortable—the life we desire depends on it. We are accountable for our future, and we have the capacity to live the meaningful life we want. Now how do we direct that capacity into productive action?
Maybe this can help:
1. Tell yourself that you will not let your thoughts go unnoticed.
We are all daydreamers, and when we have that idea that we wish to bring into existence, it steals our sleep and consumes our time throughout each waking hour. We cannot ignore these thoughts! Let them in, interact with them, and let them reside in the front of your brain so you can see them clearly. Write them down, draw them out, and let the inspiration start flowing. Take the time to drive those thoughts through the pencil onto something permanent. It’s motivating to see your thoughts on paper anyway. That being said:
2. Keep a Journal!
The demands of life may currently be taking up your time, but if you have an idea for your dream, Write it down! We may not have time to crack this idea open at this very moment—we may be working, or waiting in line at the grocery store, or trying to sleep—so write it down and expand on it later when you have made the time in the day. That night or the next day, open your journal and expand on the idea, now that you have made the time.
I personally have a journal with me just about everywhere I go, and when I don’t, I make sure to keep notes on my phone. Inspiration can show up at any time, so come prepared. Don’t tell yourself that you will remember it later, because often times, you don’t. Write that thing down! There is nothing more frustrating than struggling to remember that great idea you had earlier, and ultimately losing it. Take the time to write it out: your future self will thank you.
3. Don’t distract yourself!
Now this is a big one. With how accessible social media is now, and the endless content that it provides, capable of stealing hours of our day, it is so easy to distract ourselves from our thoughts, which are imperative to the process of realizing a dream. It is difficult to interact with an idea or thought when we are scrolling through our social media feeds, consistently being presented with something that is yes, stimulating, but more importantly, distracting. I feel like I can speak for most of us when I say that I’ve caught myself mindlessly scrolling through Facebook, and finally snapping out of it, realizing that I don’t remember anything from all that content I just absorbed. Now that is just 30 minutes of precious time wasted that could have been utilized for brainstorming or writing.
Don’t get me wrong, social media has its perks, and I do enjoy it, but when it becomes a time-filler, we have a problem. I used to think it was so difficult to find time to work towards a dream, but when I put the phone down, I found more and more time in my day. Maybe when you woke up and drank your coffee, you could have broke out that journal and interacted with some of your ideas. I find that this time spent in the morning motivates me early on in my day. It’s a good start when paired with a good cup of coffee! Now, have you ever been say, writing or drawing, or doing something you consider work towards your dream, and you hit a block? You can’t think of how to start the next sentence, or what to add, and you quickly pick up your phone? Me too. This is an important time for our brains to calculate our next move, to brainstorm. And we lose that by grabbing the phone! Let your brain work past the block; don’t distract it!
Of course there are plenty of ways to distract yourself, and at times, it is okay. We don’t have to be on our game and productive every second of every day. It is when our distractions become time-fillers; that is when we need to reconnect with our goals. We must be diligent to use our free time to keep our momentum going in the tedious process of creating the life we dream of.
4. Keep your phone close and your coffee closer.
It’s inevitable: our phones will always be near us when we are doing our work. Whether on the table, or in our pocket, it will be there, waiting to be picked up, ready to distract us. Let’s see if you can relate to this situation: Say you hit a mental block when working on your idea; whether it be writing, drawing, etc. You take your hands off the keyboard, or put down the pencil, and what do you do? You reach for the phone, Like some of us, myself included, I get stuck on it, and wind up wasting valuable minutes scrolling through other people’s lives on some sort of social media. This goes back to topic of distraction. So here is my point: try putting something in between your work station and your phone. This may sound odd, but give yourself something else to grab. Put that cup of coffee in between you and your phone, and make it a point to grab it instead of your phone when you pause from your work. Or even better, keep that journal full of your ideas and thoughts next to you. If you find your creative mind stuck, grab your journal and read through some pages! What better way to get back to meaningful work than to skip through some of the content that inspired the work you are doing. Much more productive than seeing who checked in where with who on Facebook, right? Make this a habit: reach for something more productive than your phone in times of creative struggle. Pause, brainstorm, and get back to it.
5. Try Not to Force your Work:
Of course, when you have your dream identified, and your passion in your scope, put in the work, but never force it. Get yourself inspired, then pick up the pencil. Forced work is not your truest work. Do no force yourself to create; remind yourself why you are doing this work.
Example: I attempted to write my mission and vision statement for my company when I forced myself to sit down and write it. Yep, I got some words down. then left them for a few days. When I returned to them on a day where I was feeling inspired and ready to work, I deleted everything I had wrote and started completely over. There was no passion in my forced words; but when inspired, my passion was ingrained in the them, and you could feel it.
When you feel the desire or inspiration to work, work! Use that energy and motivation to create content that reflects your passion. These are the times when our work is in its purest form; do not waste it. We want to create something that changes our lives and/or the lives of others; it is important that we face it with all our heart and mind by channeling our energy and inspiration in a productive direction. Remember, the destination is much more satisfying (and successful) when you are present and aware during the journey, focusing on each step, acknowledging and appreciating the difficulty of the process. Meaningful lives are not easily achieved, but ever so satisfying when we acknowledge how hard we worked and the difficulties we overcame. So get inspired, stay focused, and go get it.
6. Utilize Combinatory Play
Maybe you’ve heard of this, maybe you haven’t, but your boy Einstein was a big believer in it, and he was quite the successful dream-seeker. Combinatory Play is simply described as the act of opening up one mental channel by dabbling in another. This could be anything. You could break out that sushi-making kit you’ve been meaning to pull out, or maybe take up the boxing lessons you’ve been talking about, or anything! Do something, creative or otherwise, and stimulate your brain. This may sound like procrastination or distraction, but if you enter the act with the right intention, then you my friend, are progressing. You are being productive, even if you do not realize.
Let me give you a personal example:
I somewhat recently backpacked through Southeast Asia for 8 months, spending my time wondering through unfamiliar places, surrounding myself with unfamiliar people and cultures, and simply existing in something completely new to me. Travel was the craft I chose in order to stimulate a new mental channel. I traveled with intention. I was going to immerse myself in something totally new, something completely unfamiliar, with an open mind, and the intention to absorb whatever could be learned. I didn’t want to force inspiration for an idea: I wanted to clear my head of the, “what are you going to do when your trip is over?” thoughts. And I did. And the inspiration started pouring in. See, by opening my mind through a new, uncharted channel, where my days were spent out of my comfort zone, surrounded by something new, I began to develop ideas, or new routes to explore my dream.
Now you don’t have to travel across the world to become inspired; you just need to find something that lets you explore a new channel. It could be learning to draw, or teaching yourself how to sail. Dive into something new, with an open mind, and immerse yourself in the experience with the intention of learning. You cannot see this as a poor use of your time. Combinatory play is productive and useful for your passion, as long as the intention is clear.
This goes for those who have not yet realized their dream, or are not sure what they want to do with their lives as well. We are not going to finally identify our passion by sitting down and thinking, “okay, what do I want to do with my life? Maybe it can give you some direction, but from personally trying this, I managed to give myself answers that seemed to only be based on settling. As in, I was going to settle in with something I liked, rather that something I LOVED. We need to let our minds explore and experience something new; it needs to be opened up to things it has previously never touched on. Travel, read, walk down a new street, talk to someone new; do something out of your comfort zone, away from your normal interactions and experiences, and let your mind wander. This is how you can find a passion; and it makes for an interesting journey as a bonus.
7. Make time for yourself, away from your dream.
Everything in moderation right? Even working on something your passionate about can be draining to the point of exhaustion and disinterest. I know we want to realize and reach our dream, and the ideal life we work so hard to achieve, but in the building process, we cannot always build. If we do, it becomes a job, not a dream.
Be sure to do what you enjoy doing every now and then. What a concept! Do the things that make you happy. Walk on the beach, go on your favorite hike, hang out with your best friends, read that fiction novel that doesn’t pertain to your passion, only your interest. We have to remember to be present, and when all we do is use our time for work, whether it is our day job, or the construction of our dream job, we lose touch with the present, and only focus on our future. We cannot use our time now to only focus on the eventual days ahead. This has the potential to take away some pretty amazing moments, friendships, and experiences in the now. Remember to be present in each moment. We must not simply exist in the present with our minds in the future.
Do not do what I did. I focused so much on achieving my goal that I forgot to live. I forgot all of the things I loved to do. I forgot that I loved to surf. I forgot that I loved to hike. I forgot I loved to be around friends. I put every waking moment into making money at my restaurant job, and using my off time to work on starting my company. I neglected the things I liked, the people I loved, and in the end, I didn’t produce good work. Yes, I got some work done, but the inspiration was few and far between. It was clear that my uninspired, forced work was not my genuine work—it lacked my uniqueness and drive, and my passion was not found in the words I had written..
Luckily, I recently had a friend tell me that they, “hated seeing me like this,” and that, “you were so inspired when I met you traveling last year.” I was so confused; I had been putting in so much work on my dream! Hours and hours a day, I was teaching myself to build a website, or reading books pertaining to my dream. I was pursuing my passion! How was I not inspired? What I had not realized until that moment, was that I had lost touch with the inspired, passionate individual who wanted to change the world. I was instead just working, and nothing more. My dream became a job, and that job became my life. I wasn’t having fun, and I sure as hell wasn’t being present. How did I lose sight with that inspired, future world-changer? I let the drive for an ideal future replace my present, turning me into a man physically here, and mentally somewhere else. Do not do what I did.
We cannot lose sight of who we are and what makes us happy as we build our dream. We have to remember to live amidst the process of building our future. We cannot forget that. Don’t put your dream away, just take time to do what you enjoy, and your dream will be by your side with every step. It won’t leave you; it will be patiently waiting to work with your most inspired self.
8. Understand the difference between, “Doing,” and, “Willing.”
Let me quote your boy, Albert Einstein again:
“A man can do as he will, but not will as he will.”
And for the women readers:
“A woman can do as she will, but not will as she will.” (I guess gender inclusive language wasn’t his primary concern).
We can think of our ideal life and the time when our dream is officially realized and we are living the meaningful life all we want, but thoughts alone will not achieve anything. It is the work that we put in, and the dedication we give to our passion, that creates the process and the end goal. I personally want to create a non-profit, and this dream of mine is the topic of the majority of my thoughts. But these thoughts are only productive and utilized properly when I turn them into active work.
I’m not saying that visualization is useless; it can be very productive. It just needs to be followed by action. Thoughts themselves cannot bring something into existence; only performance can do that. Take those thoughts, take that visualization, and turn them into active, inspired work. We cannot will something into existence; only action can do that.
Thanks Einstein.
9. Define and Design Reality
Reality has no permanent definition. It is a word that is unique to the individual, and can only be defined by the individual. When someone tells us that we need to be more realistic, what they are saying is that they want us to adhere to their version of reality. Maybe in theirs, starting your own company is too risky and should be tossed aside for a more stable job and lifestyle. Ask yourself what you want your life to be like? How do you want to live? Your answer is your reality. Your answer is realistic. It is based on your happiness and your passion for life, and that cannot be wrong. Some may see your goals as ridiculous, or too, “dreamy,” but those are only their words. Your word is realistic; and that’s all that matters. You have first, the ability to define what reality is to you, and second, the responsibility to design that reality. It is up to you to create the reality that you wish to live in—and it takes work—but you’ve already finished the first step: defining your reality. Now keep the momentum going.
10. Measure Yourself Accordingly
It is so easy to be hard on ourselves and beat ourselves up over the fact that we have yet to achieve our ideal life, and see our dream in action. At times we can be so focused on how we have not succeeded, that we lose sight of the beauty of the process. The process of actually creating something that came from our own mind. Do not forget how truly amazing that is. We are actively taking something from our own mind and putting it out into the world to share with others: what an achievement in itself! The act of working on something that you came up with and putting in the time and money to pursue something that you believe in is something that cannot go unrecognized. So here is my point: Do not measure your worth or significance by your successes or failures, but rather by your dedication to the life you are building. That is passion, my friend; and you should be proud of yourself.
Your idea, your passion, your dream, are always on your mind, and you are going to share that with the world—what a life you are living. You are dedicated to your passion, and that is success. You are taking that leap. You will be successful in your dream, and you will look back in pride because you saw the cliff, threw fear to the wind, and you jumped. What a life you are living.
I want to thank Olivia O’Connor and Don’tTellSummer for giving me the opportunity to write this article. In the process, it allowed me to follow my own advice.
P.S.
I recommend you read, “Big Magic,” by Elizabeth Gilbert, and, “The Surrender Experiment,” by Michael A. Singer. Both of these books are the source of much inspiration throughout my process of creating.
