The other month I realized something: I don’t have this huge urge to go out and travel the world.
Not that I’m not excited about upcoming travel plans or that I don’t love having opportunities where I get to explore, but I don’t have that intense urge of, I need to get out and travel now.
All of a sudden I was craving to feel grounded and I wasn’t sure why.
After reflecting, I realized that:
I have been getting the same feelings that I get when I’m traveling at home.
When we stay in the same place, we get used to the community.
The traveling language of, ‘I can go up and talk to that person, I’ll never see them again’ fades.
A location goes from a place where you felt comfortable taking risks to a place where you fear them.
But even when you travel and you have thoughts of:
I will only be here once.
I will never see these people again.
It’s safe to say yes.
These too are just projections we’ve put onto a situation. You might run into the same people again, you may come back, we don’t know what the future holds.
What if we took that lifestyle and way of thinking into our daily lives?
What if we added the zest? The spontaneous, go-getter attitude wherever we are?
What I’ve loved most about living in a different country is that I’ve often felt bold.
When I first moved here in 2012, this was my internal dialogue:
Behind many of the risks that I took, a little voice said- ‘You can always go home.’
Behind taking risks for new relationships both business and personal – ‘You may never see them again.’
Behind saying yes to new opportunities – ’This could be your last chance to do this, you might as well go for it. That’s ok if it doesn’t turn out the way you plan, when else will you be able to do this?’
Still living in Sydney today, I continue to encourage myself to use this language but believe me, it’s challenging.
When you live somewhere long enough, you do see that person that you said, “I’ll give it a go, I’ll never see them again!”
Where I used to tell myself, “It’s ok, you can always go home!” Now, going home seems tricker than staying.
In saying that, I have chosen to actively embody the traveler’s mindset in my everyday life. I want to share with you this story in hopes to inspire you to bring about this mindset if you too love to travel, so that you can live a bold life just as you would’ve abroad.
Ok, let’s break it down:
Mentality #1: “I will never see them again.”
This can relate to someone you want to chat to for business reasons, to form a new friendship, or to create a romantic connection. The way to bring about the attitude that you might carry when you’re traveling is to ask yourself why you wouldn’t go up to them?
Why wouldn’t I go up to this person now?
Why wouldn’t I express my truth to this person now?
Do I fear being rejected?
When you’re traveling, the person may have brushed you off but you may have not cared as much because you’ll never see them again. But what if you did see them again, would it really be that bad?
If you can accept running into the person again if the situation didn’t go ideal, then it’s worth going up to them. Just as you may wonder when you travel, “What if I had said yes and taken the risk?” The same can apply even if you’re at home. People move, situations change and you never know what the outcome will be until you say yes.
Mentality #2: “I can go for this risk or opportunity, what do I have to lose!”
What I’ve learned from both traveling myself and from others is a big reason for not going for big, bold, dream-following things comes from the fear of being seen.
What if you’ve grown up in the same town your whole life and your community has never seen a certain side to you? Sharing the truth about who we are if we’ve never shown a certain side or passion can be a bit daunting. Going for your dreams means being seen for who you are; what you’re passionate about.
The great thing about traveling is that you’re free of those identities you’ve carried with you your whole life. You are no longer the basketball player, the musician, the artist.. you’re just you.
A way to combat this fear is to accept your dreams. When you accept your dreams and own them, others can accept them too.
A great way to accept not only going for your dreams, but building up courage to share your dreams with the people around you is to remind yourself that when you shine your light, it encourages the people around you to do the same. When you’re living your truth and doing what’s in your heart, you will notice that the people around you will begin to feel free to do that too. It may need to start with you, but when you’re doing something that is totally true for you, people can feel that. It’s not something to be afraid of, but something to be seen as an opportunity to create positive change within yourself, your life and your community.
Mentality #3: “I’m safe to try something new.”
You can bring that attitude with you wherever you are by giving yourself permission to be human.
You aren’t going to be perfect at everything right from the start, but you will never be great if you don’t try. Take chances, and try new things.
Build up a support network around you or new things in a safe environment.
I had a friend who was afraid to cook. It had always been an area that made her feel vulnerable and less than, but last year she decided to create a space that was just for her and taught herself how to cook.
It was messy and definitely not perfect, but she decided that she could go for it because she gave herself a safe space to try, make mistakes and perfect her skills on her own terms. Now she absolutely loves cooking and even better, for and infont of others.
Create a safe space for you to get comfortable trying a new skill.
Remember: This mentality is a choice. Whether you are abroad or at home, you are still you. That was you who took the risk when you were abroad, that was you who spoke to that cute guy or girl at the bar and it’s you who can do this at any time.
