Risk Taking: The Cycle

Thursday // October 17 // 2013

When you make the decision to face a fear, take on a new challenge and truly follow your feeling towards a different path, it often seems that after the decision is made and you take the leap you’re done. You can check off the hard part. Nothing can stop you.

What I’ve found after feeling that initial relief and overwhelming feeling of ‘I did it!’, came vulnerability. When you hide behind a fear and finally let your inner power come to the surface it can feel a little unnatural.

But it’s more than natural to feel vulnerable. Putting yourself out there and doing something new often means there’s no roadmap. But what is reassuring is that this is a cycle, and that taking risks isn’t actually a brand new thing for you but something you’ve been carrying with you the whole time.

Think about the first time you did something that you were afraid of, even if that was raising your hand in class in the 1st grade. You made the decision to do it, you felt vulnerable, your instincts guided you through it and then it became the norm. Then you’re faced with another perceived risk, you make the decision to take it, you’re vulnerable and without a roadmap , you pave the way, you feel safe then bam a new opportunity comes your way. See these small risks you’ve been taking your whole life? At the time they were big risks so why should this cycle stop now that the risks are seemingly bigger?

You’ve been preparing yourself for bigger things and it’s time you give yourself permission to step into this new light.

Relationships: Showing up Fully

Tuesday // October 1 // 2013

I used to say yes to almost every opportunity that would come my way. I would over commit myself to the point of exhaustion and when it would come around to the time of the activity I would feel this deep sense of blehh. I didn’t want to go, my body didn’t go and my soul didn’t want to go.

Other times I would feel to say yes to something, then not be fully present in the situation. A big key for increasing and maintaining a strong, beautiful relationship with someone is to spend quality time with them; Time where every part of you has said ‘yes’ to it.

In romantic relationships we often think that there needs to be a big production, when in reality all we need to do to share our love with someone else is to just show up and be. By simply just being with the person, we can be present and create space for love to flow in easy and effortlessly. Sometimes in these romantic relationships, we get over eager with seeing the person, but before running to the phone to call them to hang out, check in with yourself and quietly ask if you really feel like showing up. The amount of time doesn’t matter, you can see the person three times a day or once a week just as long as in each encounter you show up to spend quality time with them. This goes for all types of relationships.

On the weekends especially, my ego comes in and tells me that I should constantly be around my loved ones. It tells me that I don’t get the opportunity to see them as much during the week. But If I don’t feel my best or feel more pulled to do something by myself, I honour that. This makes my time with my family, friends and loved ones more alive because I allow myself space to choose the situations that I want to be in so that I can fully show up to them with love. We are all just love and have this love in every moment, but it is when you fully show up that you’re able to let your love overflow onto the people that you’re with.

Self- Love: Speaking From Your Heart

Monday // September 23 // 2013

The other week I chatted with Maddison Vernon on her Self-Love webinar, ‘Perfectionists Guide to Practicing Self-Love’. When Maddison asked me to join her, I almost said no. My thoughts were racing about what I would speak about and I didn’t feel prepared. Despite my uncomfortableness trickling in, my feelings of saying yes overruled. I’m someone that likes to be prepared for things, not for fear of making mistakes, but fear of not adding as much value as I can. If listeners were going to tune into a webinar about self-love, I wanted to be able to give them what they needed in order to help them on their journey. While beginning to map out what I wanted to say, I suddenly stopped because it didn’t feel right.

I had all of the answers already within me and made an agreement to myself that if I was going to plan it would only involve these three things: be open, be honest and speak from the heart. My heart had a bank of experiences readily available for me to share, I just had to open it up and get out of the way.

By allowing myself to step aside, I was able to share things with Maddison that my conscious mind wouldn’t have allowed me to say. My conscious mind, the part of me that didn’t want to speak my full truth, would have felt too vulnerable to open up and share. But before I jumped online to chat, I felt the truth come out. We do not want to hear someone’s story or the funny joke, all we seek from others is their truth.

We want to be able to relate and know that someone else is going through what we’re going through. Something came up during the webinar that I did not plan on sharing but it was my truth; it was the turning point in my self-love journey. If I wasn’t in the space of speaking from my heart, the truth would have never come out and I wouldn’t have been able to fully give myself to the listeners. This turning point was when I said sorry to myself.

Throughout my self-love journey, I’ve done what ever I feel is right for me to do in that moment. This led me to the uncomfortable, yet beautiful moment of “I’m Sorry.” One evening I was sitting in my room and felt pulled to stand in front of the mirror. I looked at myself, while mouthing, “I’m sorry.” I was saying sorry to myself, my soul.

It was like apologising to this beautiful part of me that had been with me all along; a part that I didn’t fully accept and love, but had always loved me unconditionally. It had been with me throughout my life, supporting me at every moment.

A part of me knew that it was there all along because I could feel the love within but just hadn’t fully acknowledged its presence. We all have this part within ourselves. It’s that feeling that comes up when you’re about to take a risk, or go for something that you truly want. It’s the part of you that says ‘go for it, everything will be ok, you are supported.’ I was completely uncomfortable yet felt the biggest sigh of relief as if finally it was ok to not separate from my self. It was an overwhelming feeling of love as I told that part of me, ‘now that I’ve recognized that you’re here, I will give the love back unconditionally.’ By allowing my heart to come forward during my talk, I was able to peel back the layers and get to the true, transformational point in my self-love journey. It’s something that I could have never planned or practiced repeatedly, because your heart doesn’t need to practice, it needs you to give it the permission to come forward.