It is in the times when we feel that something big, something unimaginable, is conjuring up in our lives that we need to step aside. The key word is that it’s unimaginable; it’s so incredible that we literally couldn’t have thought of it. We try and manifest and create a list of steps on how what we want can come into play, but just feeling that feeling of something big coming in was actually all we needed to do. Feel it and step aside.
Connect.
Connect with yourself, your love and your light.
I love growing, supporting, and connecting with myself. When I would get into places of discomfort I became really good at getting myself back out; I did the work. When times weren’t going the way that I planned, that’s when my practice of connecting inward would really kick in. I loved the place of routinely creating space to do what I love and connect with who I truly am. It is in the times when my body and soul would be fed up with my external circumstances that I would stop and go into self-love mode. I would enjoy waking up each morning, fully surrendering in order to embrace my assignments.
When my energy would start to kick up again, things would shift back into the flow and I would feel at ease. The more peace I felt, the more I let go of my connected practice. It felt like it did what I needed it to do and its perceived purpose was served… until something rocked me and I would come crawling back into it again.
I was in a reverse fairweather relationship with myself; I would be there, fully connected, when times were bad then ditch my inner guiding system the moment things felt good again. The mentors that I would reach out to when I was feeling distressed would suddenly slip my mind when I felt an inkling of peace. The snooze button and coffee runs quickly overturned the mornings of meditation. My external world was flowing and so I let my connected world off the hook.
The real truth is, the only reason my external world was flowing was because of my vibrating energy due to being so filled with love and connection to myself. Our external experiences are a result of our internal experiences, but I thought that if my external world was running smoothly it was ok if I felt a little disconnected to my inner source of happiness. That wasn’t going to work, and was going to be an endless cycle of disconnection, freaking out and running to my inner self for guidance.
This cycle didn’t just stop there; it was a pattern running parallel with different areas of my life. If I felt sick, I would religiously have a green juice and take all of my vitamins, then the moment I felt healthy I would ditch them. But just as my disconnectedness came, so did my health and other issues. I only chose a certain way to live when I needed it.
The more you connect with the true you, the more you want to make this connection a part of your life, every single day. You want to cherish the relationship you have with yourself and be supportive of you during those times when you’re at ease just as much as those times when you really need a helping hand. When you stay connected, you won’t feel those ups and downs and desperate calls for some self-love ignition. It will be something that is a part of you, something that you love and something that you look forward to every day all the way down to in every moment.
Find a practice that you love, choose something that you would love to do no matter what your outer-world looks like, weather that’s connecting with yourself through nature, journaling, meditation or playing a sport. If it’s something that you love when you’re feeling uneasy it just as well should be something you love when you’re living in your bliss. Love doesn’t know good or bad, love is just love. Often we look to connect to our self because we have disconnected, but if we remain connected with the space that we find in our time of connecting inward, we will find that this connectedness can withstand any circumstance.
Think about summer, it has the illusion that it’s limited and so you feel like you don’t have time to sit there and wait for things to happen; you expect them to happen. You say no to the things that don’t excite your soul because why would you when your time is so ‘limited?’ You give yourself permission to say no because you feel as though the consequences are slim; you don’t have to see the person that you say no to the next day at whatever you are ‘free’ from during that time.
Being afraid to say no comes from the fear of the future. We think that if we say yes to something that we don’t want to do, it will help us in some way. But if our life is made up of all of the moments in it, why would you agree to something that doesn’t sit well in that moment? It’s because we don’t give ourselves the permission to. Something in us tell us that we should just try and ‘go with the flow.’ But going with the flow steers you away from you BEING in your flow.
When my friend, Tess, and I first moved to Sydney we didn’t have anywhere to live. We agreed to move into a share house that seemed alright and showed up on move in day to find that we did not feel right about it at all. Nothing in that house felt like home and we were about to agree to a lease. We had already told the landlord that we wanted the place and would feel bad going back on our word. ‘Going back on our word’ or disappointing this man that we had known for a hot second was the only thing that stood between us and our freedom. It’s human nature to want to care for people, even if you’ve only known them for a such a short time. But that’s where you can break the pattern, we didn’t know this man and even if we did, we are allowed to speak and feel our truth, just as we would want someone else to speak their truth and follow what they love.
I looked at Tess and she could tell what I was thinking, we gotta get the heck out of here! That would be easy right? But where were we going to live? We knew that we would love to find a place for just the two of us but that didn’t seem to be anywhere in sight, and we were two girls with massive suitcases standing on the side of the road not wanting to go into a place that we felt that we had to live in out of need.
This place did not spark our spirits at all, and so we grabbed a hold of that feeling and said no. We let our feeling take over and called my friend to pick us up. The day flew by and we strangely weren’t thinking about where we were going to sleep that night. That’s when we got the call from a landlord in Bondi letting us know that a 2 bedroom apartment was available if we wanted it. We were beyond stoked.
Arriving at our new home that night we thanked ourselves for allowing us to walk away from something that didn’t feel right. Immediately we created space for something that we would love to come in because we gave it the permission to. The only part of you that needs permission is your ego, but if that thing is going to be chatty then might as well work with it and give it some direction so that you can gracefully walk towards what you love.
Let yourself off the hook! You can say no to the things that don’t sit well and say yes to the things that you would love to be created. It might be hard at first but you can start small and build it up to bigger things or just start with a big, ignited no… it’s your choice. The more you follow that real, true feeling the more it will continue to show that what you would love is possible, and the more this pattern will be engrained in you. It will come to the point that following your feeling is like a natural instinct.
When saying no, do it from a place of love. This is key! Bring it back to how you feel. If a friend asks you to go to a party and you really just aren’t feeling it, express this to them. When you’re completely honest with someone, you’re honest with yourself. This will take the energy of you being freaked out to tell someone no out of the picture, and replace it with loving energy. You both will feel the space that it’s coming from and you will feel empowered that you said yes to yourself.
Whatever you want in life, fill the space of it with love. By feeling the love that you have for something, your circumstances will move so far out in to the distance, to the point that the only thing you see is the space between who you are and what you love.
A couple months ago I began to do a lot of heart meditations. When I would sit and think about what I love, my parents would instantly pop into my head. I would feel the love that I have for them and they have for me and just breath into that feeling of unconditional love. My parents live in California and I live in Sydney, but in that space we were infinitely connected through love. I continued to do this meditation for a couple weeks, sitting down and closing my eyes whenever I felt to.
Going in to do this meditation there was no agenda that was tied to my parents. I simply loved the feeling of really feeling the love that I have for them and the love that I know that they have for me. After a few times of doing this, my mom got a job offer in Sydney. This is something that I logically wouldn’t have been able to manifest – it would have felt forced, and manifestations work when you’re doing them for yourself and if I would have ‘tried’ to manifest for my parents move to Sydney I would have felt like I was getting in the way of what’s meant to happen.
By simply feeling the love that I have for them they drew closer and closer and the reality of them living thousands of miles away became thinner and thinner to the point that love trumped it.
What ever it is that you love, LOVE it. It sounds so simple but if you want more of what you love in your life, show up, give it your love and really feel it. Create space to feel what you love even if it’s for five minutes. You don’t need to sit down every day and attempt to manifest, but rather when you feel to open up your heart to that in which you love.
There are no rules for how to go about creating space for the things that you love to show up! By feeling the love that you have for something, you draw it closer and closer to you and your circumstances thin out so much to the point that they don’t exist; All is left is love.
Are there parts of you that you’ve overcome, parts that you don’t accept, or parts that you haven’t felt fully?
On the self-love journey, one of the most important things is to love and accept all parts of you. Often when we’ve come so far, we disown the part of us that wasn’t so much up to speed. That person is so different from who we are now that we almost resent them; We hide them and pretend that they never existed. They seem like a “dark” side or a helpless part of us that couldn’t see the light.
Whichever that part is, let it surface, feel it with all you’ve got, and then love it. Love it unconditionally. Because that wasn’t just a part of you in the past, it is you and just as you want to be loved now, you wanted to be loved then. Reach into that space in the past, fill your heart with love and feel that love moving through you all the way up until now.
By acknowledging that the person is you, you may start to feel more compassion for yourself back then. This compassion and nurturing will help you to release the fear of going there again, because you will allow yourself to feel. So release the fear and love both parts of you, because that part of you allowed your light to shine brighter than it ever knew how.
