Do you ever think about why you do something?
Why you travel?
Why you want to be or are in a relationship?
Why you go for your dreams?
Today I sat in the bath (well dunked my feet in there like I was sitting on the edge of a hot tub) and started thinking about my latest post, Creating a Traveler’s Mentality Wherever You Are. This made me continue to ask the question: Why do we do what we do?
As I mentioned in that post, I haven’t felt an urge to go off and travel. This is something that has consumed my mind and dreams for the last few years and so I’ve been diving into why I love to travel.
While some of the reasons why I love traveling are:
Newness – I love experiencing something completely new because it brings me into the moment.
Being in the moment – When you’re traveling there’s a sense of, “I may never be here again.” It seems to ground you into the experience that you’re having so that you enjoy and savour every moment you have there. When I took a bite of pizza I would savor it because it may be the only time I ever experience eating that pizza at that particular place in Italy again. I take videos and pictures because I want to hold onto those memories and remember what it felt like to be there.
I love the feeling of not waiting for the future, but to be enjoying life to the fullest right there and then.
I love the freedom – I love turning my phone off and just enjoying being there. I can do what I want when I want and it feels like there are no limits.
That’s when I realized why I hadn’t been craving traveling: One of my biggest reasons for why I love it was being met; freedom.
Then I thought…
If all of our needs or reasons for why we do something are being fulfilled, would we still want to do it?
That question initially brought up fear.
“If all three of those major needs of mine were being met, would I ever crave traveling again?”
I took this question over to a different context to see if similar feelings would be brought up.
I asked myself, “If all of my financial needs were being met, would I still do and create the things that I do?”
That was big. Scared me more than the traveling one.
Asking those types of questions cause you to really get honest with yourself.
What if the answer was no?
What if a big reason behind doing something that you say you love is because it’s the only way you feel that you can create an income and support yourself?
That’s when I realized: The answer was yes. (Ah, relief). If I had all of the money in the world, I would still want to inspire people to do what they love now; what completely excites them and lights them up. Maybe how I would bring that to life would be different, but why I would be creating and doing would still be the same.
Which brings me back to the traveling question, would I still travel even if all three of my big reasons for loving to travel were being met?
Yes. If I all of my other needs or reasons for wanting to travel were being met, I would then be traveling because I would love to. Easier said than done, but how good does that sound? Doing things just because you would love to.
Maybe then I would go because I would love to see my friend on the other side of the world, or because there was a conference going on that I would love to attend.
On the other-hand, what if you realize that you don’t want to do something simply because you love to?
Two years ago I wanted to leave Australia. I mean really leave. Everything in me wanted to be in the states and I just didn’t see how I could have the life I wanted without being there.
I missed the freedom of having a car.
I missed the groundedness of being home and with the community of people that I love.
I missed the ease of it; the familiarity.
Then within about six months, this urge stopped. I actually forgot all about wanting to move back to the states because it was no longer a desire.
Then I realized:
I felt free because of how I was showing up in my current life. Circumstances then unraveled to continue to create even more freedom.
I started to become more grounded within myself and entered into a new relationship with someone that was one of the most grounded people I had ever met. Relationships are one of our best places for positive growth and this taught me how to become even more grounded within myself.
I started to build a community around me that felt just the way it did in the states (With even synchronistically meeting new friends from America, as well as an old roommate from the states moving to Sydney). This added to my sense of community and groundedness.
I felt ease and flow in my life. I had consistency, stability and this began to create ease within my world. I did this by fully showing up and committing. I would go to hip hop yoga every week (yes it’s a thing), meet up with friends that I love, make an effort to write at least one blog post a week. Week by week, I became more grounded and free in my own life.
The more I committed to creating the feelings that I wanted (or what I thought America would give me) in my current situation, the more people and opportunities came in to grow and illuminate those experiences.
I stopped resisting the fact that I lived in Australia, and wanted to be somewhere else, and I started owning my life. I committed to showing up for myself exactly where I was at rather than waiting for some point in the future.
I no longer needed to or desired to live in the states because all of my reasons for wanting to go there were being met. I did not want to be there just because I would love to; I had deep-seeded reasons for wanting to be there that could be fulfilled within my current situation.
Now is a wonderful time to check in with yourself:
Why do you want to do the things that you do?
Why do you want to make a change?
Why do you want to achieve a dream or manifest a desire?
There are no right or wrong answers.
I would love to hear from you in the comments below x
