Think of your best friend… what feelings come up for you when you think about him or her? When I think of mine, I feel it in my heart. I instantly feel at ease and I am filled with warmth and love.
Now think of yourself… do those same feelings arise as they did when you thought of your friend?
When that feeling of unconditional love for yourself doesn’t instantly come up it means that it’s time to shift some beliefs and be conscious of how you think about and treat-a-bout yourself.
Let’s go through some tips on how we can totally love and accept ourselves.
Feel your Feelings. A close friend once told me “feelings wants to be felt.” It was such a simple thing but made a massive impact on how I react to my own feelings. It’s so easy to brush your feelings aside and look for a quick fix. I used to think that if I could tell myself enough positive affirmations then my unwanted feelings would instantly go away. When a feeling comes up that’s joyful or not so joyful, feel it. You don’t need to sit in the uncomfortableness for hours, just enough to let it know that you have acknowledged it.
Once you acknowledge it, it will then have the chance to pass through you. Allowing your feelings to come forward helps you to accept and love you for everything that you are going through and let’s yourself know ‘hey it’s ok that I’m not feeling totally rad today, there’s nothing wrong with that and I don’t need to hide it from myself.’
Forgive yourself. Remember that you’re human and that it’s ok to make mistakes.
If your best friend came to you and told you that she messed up, you’d let her off the hook in two seconds and already have Sex and the City streaming. So let’s try and do this with ourselves.
If I find myself wishing that I would have done or said something differently, I bring myself back into the present and say ‘you did the best that you could with the information that you had and I accept you.’ This is an important one when communicating with others. When you communicate from a place of love and authenticity and the outcome doesn’t come out exactly the way you wanted, really let yourself off the hook and love the fact that you spoke your truth.
Be an ally. Be there for you. When you reach a goal, master a new skill or face a fear, praise yourself! Let yourself know how rad you are. When you have a tough day, be there for yourself and most importantly, speak positively to yourself! Speak to yourself the same way you would to someone that you love.
Presence. If you’re new to self-love it’s important to understand that this is something that takes time. Your thoughts and decisions about how you treat yourself will come up in different situations and it is up to you to choose a loving response on a moment-to-moment basis.
Being present will help assist you in easily choosing a loving response and letting yourself know that you are accepted, loved and complete in that moment.
Say no. When things don’t sit well with you, let yourself off the hook. It’s ok to say no, you don’t need to push yourself. Releasing others’ expectations will give you permission to do the things that will fuel your soul.
Say yes to yourself. I love chia seeds and green juice just as much as the next Bondi blogger but when I want ice cream, I get it. If there’s something that you love and want to have, why punish yourself for it?
Don’t Scare yourself – This is a big one that I learned from Louise Hay. We sometimes tell ourselves the worst possible scenario could happen and think of all the little things that could go wrong. You wouldn’t turn to your best friend and tell them all of the things that could go wrong in their life, so why would you turn in and tell such things to yourself?
When you watch your thoughts and notice that you are starting to think about worst case scenarios shine some light on it and acknowledge that what you’re thinking is actually ridiculous! When you tune into your thoughts and you realise that you’re scaring yourself it almost seems funny that you would even think to put yourself through that.
Don’t Wait. Don’t wait until you get the job, the relationship, the summer tan… don’t wait to love yourself when you’re at a high point. You will build a closer, more nurturing relationship with yourself if you learn to love you in every scenario.
